Full of Hope

I've mentioned it before on this blog - how I am in awe of the Lord's provision in my life. Up to this point, the Lord has provided nothing but blessings. I do suffer with small life circumstances from time to time, but I have never had any major tragedies in my life, and I am beyond happy with how my life has turned out so far.

Jarrod and I are both self employed, there is no guaranteed source of income to take for granted... which is why I am probably so aware of God's provision in our lives.

Don't get me wrong, I do not equate God's provision to a paycheck. The Lord provides far beyond that. He also provides opportunities for growth by ordaining unpleasant experiences. I am just as thankful for the paychecks as I am these past trials (and inevitable future trials) which will hopefully draw me into a closer relationship with Him, and a stronger reliance upon Him to fulfill all of my needs (financial, emotional, etc.) I am the most unhealthy when I am relying on myself and letting myself succumb to the pressures of being in sales. Likewise, my marriage is the most unhealthy when I am relying on Jarrod to fulfill my emotional needs.

The buyers of our house might back out of the contract. They are having trouble with financing. This means that we had to cancel our contract on the house we were going to keep. At first, when the buyer's agent called me to tell me that the clients wanted to terminate their contract, my heart sank and I felt a wave of stress come over me. Then I remembered the Lord's provision. It may be that God has a different plan that will be much more enjoyable than if we would have been able to purchase that other house. It may also be that God has something totally unexpected in store for us. I don't know what will happen, but I do believe that it is impossible for me to live outside the will of God, since He is completely Sovereign. It is my response to His will that determines whether my life is full of stress, or full of hope.