Tonight, I made crawfish etouffee. It turned out pretty good. I judge everything I make based on Jarrod's reactions. He mentioned about five times how good it was during the course of eating it... so I'll take that as a good sign.
I love to cook. I absolutely LOVE to cook. I love cutting up the veggies... and I especially love when something fragrant like onions are cooking in butter and making the whole place smell so good. There's just something about filling up the house with an aroma, and knowing that I am feeding my family something good and from my hands.
The problem comes in when I have to go to the grocery store. I HATE THE GROCERY STORE! I loathe going to the grocery store. I never know what to buy. I never know what I should keep on hand in the kitchen to cook with. I can't just go open the fridge/freezer/pantry and whip up a meal out of whatever is in there. It is also so overwhelming. Going down the aisle's and thinking about the endless possibilities for meals and I freeze. I feel that same way when I go into a craft store, or a scrapbooking store. I get so overwhelmed by the greatness of what could be, that I just throw up my hands and forget about it. My poor mother-in-law took me to the grocery store earlier in my pregnancy to help me figure out what to keep in the house to eat healthy. I asked her a question about some bagged pasta, got frustrated and started to cry right there in the grocery store. I was humiliated. Here I am, 26 year old adult, soon to be mother, and can't hold it together for what was supposed to be a simple trip to the grocery store.
I've tried weekly menus, where I plan what I'm going to make for the week, and then go to the grocery store... but that has never worked out. I buy too many fresh things, and they end up rotting. And for fear of that happening, now I don't buy enough fresh things.
If I had the time, and the ingredients on hand... I would make a nice home cooked meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday. It's so funny to imagine life 6 months from now, and then again 10 months from now, then 3 years from now... thinking about handing Jarrod the baby so that I can prepare a meal. Or when they get older... my food getting cold, because I am cutting up their food, and making sure it gets into their mouth before I can even get to mine. Or sitting around the table talking about their day at school. I can't believe this is all actually going to be a reality soon.
I want to be a good domestic mom. I've got the actual food preparation down... I just need help with the shopping for it. I also need to learn how to keep my house clean... that's a whole other post though.